As a survivor of rape some years back I have found myself writing about it for other people, to help them and to show them they are not alone.
The people who read my writings are victims, survivors and the families who want to know what its like or that there’s light at the end of the darkest taboo tunnel.
As part of this ongoing project I was asked to write some rape prevention tips.
My focus was women’s protection and prevention.
Reading through the feedback I was pleased there was so much positive response from the tips. So many women out there were aware and grateful, some even added to them.
But one comment caught my eye.
Someone asked for male rape prevention tips.
Curious about what kind of tips could be out there I typed male rape into Google.
Turns out Google is as clueless as me.
There are none or if there at they are definitely hiding.
That in turn got me wondering.
Why does Google not recognise men need protecting too?
Looking at other articles on Google the answer swiftly became apparent.
Male on male rape is seen as shame full
Female on male rape is laughed at and scorned on.
The sad fact is BOTH happen and daily, a lot more than any of us could ever blink and turn away from.
In certain countries like Africa, Cambodia, Botswana , male rape is rife.
Soldiers take men and rape them repeatedly knowing it brings shame on them and their wives will leave them for being weak.
Men that are raped in these countries stay silent to protect their family’s honour.
They suffer in pain and in silence.
A mans body in these places is the spoils of war.
A sick trophy
Finding male rape statistics that are up to date and accurate is unbelievably hard as there just isn’t enough information about the victims.
In any country they don’t speak out.
For some its fear.
For some its humiliation.
For some its pride
For some its protection.
And it shouldn’t be like that.
Rape is rape it doesn’t discriminate, it destroys man , woman and child equally.
So why does society find it that much more harder to stomach than child rape or a woman raped?
If as a society we can become morally outraged and disgusted at man on woman rape , why cut we stand up, and speak to these men who do exist out there and tell them that we know they have suffered, acknowledge they exist instead of condemning them to no voice, no choice, no chance.
The physicalities of rape are the same no matter who you are.
Pain, suffering, degrading, shame.
It can never be OK to ignore these men.
It can never be acceptable to pretend they don’t exist, that they are a myth.
They are very real and they see, they hear, they feel the same as any other rape victim.
Can society ever bring these quiet as Mice men out of the shadows and into the light so they can be heard and shown compassion?
Having been raped when I was 18 I was scarred anally.
Scarred for life.
Every day there’s blood for me, there’s pain when I go to the toilet.
I’m used to it now and handle the pain better but sometimes it still overwhelms me and I read article after article of men who have the same infliction, the same scarring that leads them to bleed and be in agony every day and they can’t tell anyone, nobody.
On what level can that ever be OK to let these men suffer in silence?
This is an anonymous post, this blog provides you with the opportunity to finally speak out, to share your inner fears and start facing up to those demons that continue to haunt you. Share your experience to help others. All blog posts submitted via the blog anonymously email form will be added to the blog anonymously for you, just like this blog post has been.